Hello, My name is Misty, I am 3 years old according to my child. In the interest of full disclosure, I should confess to being closer to 4. According to my child, her daddy is 2000. Apparently, he either greatly annoyed her or she considers him to be the wisest being on Earth.
Why am I here (bothering you)? I love to talk, seriously. I especially love to talk about my baby girl. How brilliant she is, how challenging, how I sometimes am so in love with my family I want to shout it from the rooftops. How sometimes I secretly dream of chucking it all and running away to Aruba with the contents of our bank account and leave no forwarding address.
However, I also need my friends in real life to still want to hang with me, so that is why you are here. I can type merrily on my way to insanity without causing my friend’s eyes to glaze over and if you want to share stories in the comments, please feel free.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like All I do is stagger around in a sleep-deprived fog, babbling incoherently at my darling daughter, Princess Sassy who is 5, to “Please for the love of your mother, stop speaking in baboon and go back to English, so that your grandmother will stop talking about sending you to a “Special” school. Last week, she offered to pay for it. When I answered you back (also in baboon) she offered to send me as well.”
I also leave little notes for my dearest husband (henceforth and forever after known as KIng Pushover) and sassy to find, detailing what to do with my sad remains after they have completely eaten my brain. Find the nicest nuthouse you can, preferably in Hawaii, and please pay them extra to disguise my meds in fruity cocktails with the little umbrellas. I feel I deserve that much consideration for allowing you all to turn me into the wreck of the Hesperus.
Before i married and then birthed my own personal path to destruction, I was relatively well-adjusted. I went to work and could converse in complete sentences. I had a makeup collection that made Macy’s look like slackers. I read, i traveled. I was a person..darn it! All of that is sadly gone, Now i am a walking tissue/trashcan,
Before we break out the tissues for my poor dilapidated former self, I should also confess, that I love my life. I live behind Disney world, and Sassy and I try to live in Disney world as much as possible. King Pushover aids and abets this because Sassy is cute and she bats her big blue eyes at him and he caves.
Speaking of caving, Sassy is in the bathtub and i think I see my bathroom walls caving in under 3000 gallons of water. Gotta go.